Since I was about 9 years old, I have played the guitar. Believe me, I fought tooth and nail with my parents about this, complaining about how I rather would've learned to play piano. I evidently lost the battle and was forced to take guitar lessons. Even after being a pain in the ass to my guitar teacher, Frank, when I was 13 I stopped taking lessons and began to appreciate the instrument and its usefulness.
Every holiday gathering and opportunity I got to perform in front of people, my parents would beg me to pick up my guitar to play and sing some music. With much resistance though being guilted into appeasing them, I would perform a few songs while I died slowly due to the intense embarrassment.
I've never been the type of person who enjoys being put on the spot (who is anyway?) but there was something I really liked about my guitar: improvisational songwriting.
In middle school, I enjoyed taking my guitar to perform songs I made up at the top of my head. The songs were never serious and consisted of cheesy lyrics that either mocked certain people, ideas that I deemed laughable, or were my own parodies of current popular songs. I'm sure some found me obnoxious but I couldn't give a shit when most were amused with what I had to say.
More than anything, though, I just love real performance. Once high school came along, there was not really room for me and my guitar and it actually was (to hyperbolize the situation) a bit tragic. This is the first year our school has a formal mariachi class but in all honesty, we have really not performed much and there is more left to be desired. Tomorrow, we are going to have a performance for cinco de mayo and I'm actually pretty glad about it but it really isn't that big of a deal.
In the past, people knew who I was because of music. Now, only a few people know I play guitar and most are surprised to hear I sing, too. Sometimes I feel like I have been put on mute. Someone give me a goddamn microphone, a venue, and lets tear the place apart.
Looking for my voice,
Dina Starr
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